Tuesday, January 30, 2007

What am I doing?

Why am I flipping my notes? Why am I flipping the module notes I never thought of flipping? Why is it that I'm not panicking at this point in time? Why am I still feeling sleepy whenever i have to do something that's suppose to be of more importance? Why am I not motivated to start mugging like I used to? Persevere! Kick my butt!!!!!!!!!

Vivvianne at 10:21 PM

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Friday, January 26, 2007

Whirlwind

I decided to take a break from my not-so-productive time with my books. My body's tired, brain's dead and the 'fengshui' of my desk's not really ideal. Plus, with my brother beside me trying to kill some monster by using his oh so powerful keyboard. He was pratically ripping the keys of the keyboards! He's incessantly irritating!

I tried to study. Flipped my Maternal-infant care notes and I'm surprised how disorganise lecturers can get when they created those notes. Horrible. Tell me what do you think trophoblast is when they state "Trophoblast (Placenta)" in the notes? You'll think that Trophoblast is the synonyms for placenta right? Argh!

So after trying to absorb something into my brain, I decided that the 'fengshui' of my desk have to rearrange. I can get quite annoyed when I have something blocking me or something irritating (like my brother) is at the corner of my eyes when I study. Oh well, the garang guni me still keeps piles of 'treasure' under her desk. I think they're really treasures! I was reading some essay I wrote in Secondary school and whao, I'm impress. Ya.. right. And recently, my brother shifted some stuff here and there and created a mess. So I decided to shift my garang guni treasures somewhere beside another pile of garang guni treasure so I get my leg space under my desk. And yes, I'm smelling some smelly rat glue all over my house. My parents suspect there's rats at home!!!! YIKES! See! Even smell can affect my mood to study. I hope the rats die soon so I can send them to Terence in Melbourne. LOL. And he can slice their brains to study and help find out why I'm affected by the rat glue smell.

I think I'm in this frustrating mood mainly because I can't seem to study properly today. And yesterday too. Please pardon all my rants. I didn't even join my family for dinner. They're now out having their ban mian or something. Okay, they just got home and they bought of food back for me. I shall go have my late dinner in awhile. And get back to my desk and attempt to study and soak all that I can!

Vivvianne at 10:22 PM

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Sunday, January 21, 2007

@Starbucks Raffles City

Thank God for wireless @ SG! I'm right now at Starbucks at Raffles City. Doing my project with Catherine as I indulge in Ice blended Frappucino Mocha (I think the phrasing's wrong! lol) while waiting for Mister Pirapong to appear. haha.

I think the idea of wireless @ SG's superb man! I was at Ang Mo Kio Library earlier and I was able to surf the internet for my work. Ain't that just plain cool?! I guess we'll be seeing more laptops all around Singapore pretty soon. I think I'll try if I can receive the wireless @ SG at home. If so, I can use my laptop anywhere. I don't have the wireless thingy at home you see. And what more, I don't have to have my brother stare at me and say.. "Can I have the USB Plug now?!" haha.

School'll be starting tomorrow. And I haven't got the chance to enjoy myself this weekend. So gotta make up for it when I meet Pirapong later. haha. I wanted to take a break from all these messy things but I just can't! Presentation's this tuesday and thursday! Oh no!!! I believe my group will do a good job. And after these presentation, I'll have to mug mug mug and dunk my head into the pool of books and notes! Exams's coming soon! Arghhhh! Okay, persevere girl! hehe. The 'idiotic' thing is that Exams before and after Chinese New Year! Can't they just let me enjoy my holiday in a really joyous mood. Exams starts on Valentines' Day.. never mind! But why is CNY between my exams?!?!? haha. I thought of getting those cheong sum for CNY. Never wore one before! But I guess mummy won't allow me to get one. She'll say waste of money. Because it's not like something I'll wear everyday. haha.

Alrighty I shall get back to my Powerpoint slides for now. :S:S:S:S Take care folks! lovelove! God bless ya!!!

Vivvianne at 6:01 PM

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Friday, January 19, 2007

INTERESTING headlines

I was reading some of my favourite blogs online.. as usual. I had a good laugh at the headlines Kaiyi, my former tuition buddy, posted on his blog! Go read his blog yea? Impeccable english, I tell you! Way way way better than mine! Oh yes, it's http://cheaplabourteams.blogspot.com/. Check it out yea? Pssst, I'm 'advertising' your blog!

I ripped these hilarious headlines from his blog! Like what he said, you got to twist your English about to appreciate the true humour. haha. Enjoy and laugh your heads off!

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
[Imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[No-good-for- nothing' lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through
Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Vivvianne at 10:08 PM

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Sunday, January 14, 2007

It feels funny..

Haven't been updating this for quite sometime. I'm having my attachment in SGH. Lots of stories to share but can't possibly share it all here right now. To sum it all, there has been heartening and disheartening moments. And I thank God that he's been there for me each step of the way even I sometimes don't remember that He's there.

There's so much I wanna say. But I just don't know how to. It just feels funny. Been thinking about things. Imagining. And hoping. But it's all dumb.

Okay, enough of that.

Let's talk about somethings that I did recently. Attachment. Has PSM yesterday. It was Rossy's spiritual birthday yesterday and her birthday today. :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!!!! I really thank God for her. She's like a sister whom I can share spiritual things about. Although we still haven't reach the level where we share very openly, I'm still very thankful that God blessed me with a great sister in Christ called Rostina! :)

Rostina also suggested to wash Sophie's and Kelvin's feet like how Jesus did. I think it's really thoughtful of her. So I brought big can of nivea cream and she brought her dove soap. We prepared the basin and all secretly with Doreal trying to distract Sophie. And yep, we washed Sophie's and Kelvin's feet and moisturised it. It's a form of saying thanks to them. I think I should do that to Li Jie too. She has really been there for me when I needed a shoulder and a listening ear. Someone who has been guiding and blessing my spiritual walk. Awww, thank you Lord! I'm so blessed!

I also met up with Pirapong earlier. I wanted to check out the Dum briyani at Blue Diamond at Little India. I think Little India has this authentic charm to it. Feels as if I'm in India with the people there who walks like the streets belongs to their father. haha. My friends have been telling me about it. It's not very fantastic though. I heard they serve in a pot but it came in a plate form. Guess I'll try Muthu's curry's soon. But I LOVE THE MASALA TEA! Fragrant!!! I had one glass there and ta paoed another one. Pirapong couldn't stand the spiciness of the dishes. So shiok la! We walked to Cathay after that and watched Blood Diamond. haha. Blue Diamond then Blood Diamond. Cool. This very sweet friend of mine.. brought lotion okay?!?! Because he offered to massage my tired feet! LOL. He offered to massage my feet like a few times already. But it just didn't happen in the end because I'll say no. haha. Anyway, Blood Diamond's definitely a movie worth watching! It stirred quite a bit of thought in my mind after the movie. I was near to tears! But Hotel Rwanda really made me cried. It's really hard to imagine that there're many people suffering this way. I got tons to say but I got to stop. Maybe I'll share more about my thoughts when I read up more about it.

Oh well, I think those Miss Universe or 'bimbos' (as some would say) are actually wishing for the right thing. They often say.. "I wish for world peace!" But it's so true, isn't it? I do wish for that...

Vivvianne at 11:39 PM

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Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy, blessed 2007!

Hello! Firstly, let me wish all of you a very happy and blessed new year! May joy, peace and love embrace you all the time this year. And may the overwhelming love of the Lord continue to be our driving force to live our life according to His will.

The usual question we all us ourselves or even our friends and family is: how's 2006 been for you?

I think I would not be able to answer the question very well right now. So let me just do a little recap of the major event that happened.

I remember the day I got my hands on my O levels results. I knew I did my best and I know God will always do the rest. I didn't score the A1 my English teacher told me I'm capable of. I didn't score the improved grade I wanted for my Chinese even though I retook the paper. I didn't score exactly what I aimed for even though I worked very hard. But still, I held this hope that I'll enter to the courses that I desire.

When the day I got my JAE results of the courses, I was hit rock bottom. Never did I expected that I would end up with none of the courses of my choice. In short, I didn't have any course at all. I think it was the lowest point of my life so far. All I did when I realised that I'm left without a course, was to wallow in self-pity and cry all day. I refused to speak to anyone. Not even the closest people in my life - my family members. Imagine how lost was I. The only person I really spoke to was God. I asked him why why why? It wasn't easy for me to go through this at all. But I'm glad I have my God with me, right close to my heart. Thank you, Daddy God.

Initially, I didn't make my choices with God. I made it on my own. Prospect, future, wealth, recognition, fame, good life, etc... was all I based my choices on. No, that's not the way. I am supposed to based my choices on what God has planned for me. I was supposed to pray over it and hear out from God. But I shut my ears off and based on the superficials.

So, I prayed over it. I decided to make my choices with my God. Li Jie and many other leaders told me that God will open and close door and eventually, lead me to where He wants me to go. He have a plan for me just like what Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord."

My papa droved me around to the polytechnics to further understand the courses available and suitable for me. He was with me when I was the lowest point in life. He helped to decide on my choices based on his experience. I was hoping he would also help me decide based on God's plan. And even pray with me as I make my choices, once again. But sadly, he's not a Christian. I made my appeal to all the polytechnis except Republic Polytechnic though as I'm not very keen on their education system. Each time I posted my appeal, I prayed that He'll lead me to where He opened the door for me.

It was quite a tough fight between Ngee Ann's Real estate business and Nayang's Nursing for me. I was more keen on real estate business then. Maybe because I was still holding on to the prospect thought. I even went for NYP's orientation with the thought that NP would reply me with a yes to the appeal.

Eventually, as I prayed over it, God led me to Nursing. But still, I was still apprehensive about my choice. I never held the thought of becoming a nurse. It was way beyond my wildest imagination. Psychologically, it was a big step for me to cross over. I had people who questioned about my choice. People who would looked at me in a different light. People who have some kind of discrimination against nurses. People who pretended that they're not disgusted by my choice. And of course, people who genuinely have high regards towards nurses. I don't know about myself. Still, I just went on with the faith that this is where he put me.

I'm still holding on to the faith closely right now. I got to admit that I questioned myself countless time and am still questioning myself during this 3/4 of my first year in nursing. With the many teeny or big hurdles I had overcome, I'm glad that my sanity is still intact. It can get quite insane with the some not-so-nice people I met, hectic school work, crazy subjects like bioscience, unreasonable patients and what more. But I'm glad that God sent many very lovely people to go through all the insane time with me which made studying, completing ICAs, conquering bioscience, loving unreasonable patients and whatever nonsense more enjoyable. You know who you are! :) And my friends who tolerated my cheesebun nonsense when I was doing my psyche essay recently.

Whether I'm going to be a nurse after I graduate or not, I still want to commit my life to God. I will one day or rather, at the end of all my earthly days, see a complete beautiful jig-saw of my life. Each of my family members, every friends I love, everybody I crossed paths with, each incident be it happy or bitter, all the beauty and ugliness I see, and everything in my life will be the pieces of the jig-saw. It'll be the day I'll stand in awe of the beauty of God's plan for me.

I'm very sure that there's no other greater love than God's. It's a love that cannot be found in our family, friends, materials, and what nots. Just the sacrifice of Jesus, HIS SON!, for our sins alone is way beyond any word can ever elucidate. Thank you, Daddy God! Thank you, Jesus!

In 2007, I want to continue to experience that overwhelming love from God all over again. I want to spend more time with Him. And not leave my bible just with my Collins Cobuild dictionary by my shelf. I want to spend more time with God's people. I want to give more to God. I want to fall in love all over again with God. These are easier said than to be done. I need to be disciplined and commited to what I want and need to do. Pray for me.

Also, I want to find greater joy in all that I'm doing, mainly, studying nursing. To be someone who blesses others' life in my words and actions. These aren't exactly my new year resolution. These are the things I want to follow all throughout my life.

To sum it all, I want to send my heartfelt love and gratitude to my family who have been very supportive, understanding and loving; to my friends for loving who I am and listening to my cares and woes; my spiritual leaders in Navteens who guided me in my Christian walk; and God for embracing all that I am.

I intended to post this entry in my private blog but decided to share this slice of my life with all you. I hope my sharing blessed you.

Cheers to 2007! May it be a fruitful year for us as we unravel the year with God! I love each one of you out there! Thank God for YOU! God bless!

Love,
Tay Hui Mei Vivvianne

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Vivvianne at 4:41 AM

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